Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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