I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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