basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I still have a little drunk in my system
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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