Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
