I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
