I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
well I can't set my house on fire every night
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
