Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
