She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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