hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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