Ambien. No doubt about it.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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