so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
