I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Randomize
