I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
