I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Randomize
