look no pants
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
