Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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