I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
vagina is talking i cant
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
