planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize