based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
