That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
