Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
