There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize