"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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