girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
