Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
