Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize