i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
