Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
There's always time for handjobs
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
