from now on my penis is your penis
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
