apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
