I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
