You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
