I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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