I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
