is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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