If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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