you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
