do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
