You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
pray to the hookup gods
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
