So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Randomize
