I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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