I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
