i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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