I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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