Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
