i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
