eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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