whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
