Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
