Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
jump out the window naked night went bad
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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