my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
